the universe has a plan

Today, I am grateful for self-reflection and growth. I have done and continue to do "the work of life" and as a result, I am not the same person.  I have evolved.  I have evolved because I have taken an honest and compassionate approach to understanding myself, my beliefs, my behaviors, my actions, and their results.  Where I used to be afraid, guilty, or ashamed I am now courageous, understanding, and humble. 

I am learning what it really means to be present.  I spent a lot of time over the past few weeks feeling anxious and scared about how I may be perceived by others at a future event, feeling excited to see my friend share vows with a man she loves, feeling hopeful I may see an old love for a formal goodbye.  All these feelings were based on my mental projections of something that hadn't happened yet and never would.  I missed my connecting flight and never made the wedding.  But what I learned is how important it is to bring my mind back to the here and now because I don't know what will happen in the future, and literally anything is possible. 

I accomplished acknowledging I was repressing some pretty intense feelings and recognizing that I am not as well equipped to use the tools I have when I have consumed alcohol.  I fall quickly into my old, "victim" mentality.  Past programming takes over and I ruminate in the feelings that come up.   

I delighted in a hug from my mom, in talking to my soul sister, and in celebrating a milestone in a friend's journey.